#then it just.. spiraled from there
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the cast in shitty pride merch
eclipse doesnt get a shirt but he does get a mug
#birdcage scribbles#oh god the tags#here we go#sams#tsams#the sun and moon show#sun and moon show#laes#tlaes#the lunar and earth show#lunar and earth show#sams sun#sams moon#sams lunar#sams solar#sams earth#sams eclipse#tsams sun#tsams moon#tsams eclipse#tsams solar#tsams lunar#tsams earth#sams fanart#shitpost#this all started bc i found the ''i love my 2 moms'' shirt and i was like ''inneed to put that on jack''#then it just.. spiraled from there#also fun fact the 'pride demon' one is my phone lock screen lmao#was shocked when it was an actual shirt
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Danny commits to the Bit a bit too hard...
So! For the first few weeks after his accident, whenever Danny would try to help the people of Amity Park, he would be treated as a Villain.
No matter if he had just defeated the Big Bad of the Week or saved a Cat from a tree, everybody in town only saw him as a Monster or Villain to he feared and hunted down. Danny was really getting sick of trying to get them on his side, until Sam made a suggestion.
"Why not just...play into it?" She said, barely looking up from painting her nails.
It was just an offhand suggestion, but it stuck with Danny. Why shouldn't he lean into it? The people of Amity Park already saw Ghosts as Evil, and they already assumed he was in cahoots with the Ghosts attacking the town. Why shouldn't he just...play into it?
So he does just that.
From that day on, whenever Phantom was spotted he would dramatically monologue about his Evil Plans, or claim that another Rogues attack on the City was his own act of terror.
Box Ghost destroys the towns Warehouses? It was on his orders.
Ember mind controls masses of Teenagers? All part of his Plans somehow.
Every Adult in Town is kidnapped by Young Blood? Danny gave them over to a friend as a Gift.
He crafts an identity for himself as the most Vile and Horrible Ghost that has ever attacked the City, using his own infamy to cement his legend even more firmly. The town only sees a Monsterous Villain, who has eveded capture near effortlessly for months on end, who constantly attacks their City and gets away with it.
Of course he still needs an excuse for how his plans keep getting stopped, and he gets it when his girlfriend Valerie becomes the Red Huntress. Before that, he just claimed infighting or the Fentons getting lucky, but Valerie becoming the Town's Hero meant he had a plausible excuse for how he kept getting "Foiled".
Val was suspicious, because she was not as involved as Phantom painted her to be, but in the end she had no proof of him faking his defeats. And she couldn't come up with any explanations for why he would do that in the first place. I mean, who would fake being a Supervillain? It had to he something else.
This did come back to bite him a while later, when the Justice League decided that enough was enough, and dispatched Justice League Dark to recruit Red Huntress and help Deal with him.
Coincidentally, that was the same day Pariah Dark attacked the Mortal Realm and sucked Amity Park into the Ghost Zone.
And honestly? Danny had spent over a Year proclaiming himself as a Villain who commanded Ghosts to attack the Human Realm, and he had heard about the Right of Conquest being Absolute in the Ghost Zone, so why not make it official? Why not overthrow the Ghost King, become the Ghost King, and cement his identity as a Villain while also forbidding Ghosts from entering the Human Realm without his permission?
He may have gotten a bit carried away and forgotten that the Villain thing was a disguise...but hey! He was still preventing Ghost Attacks! ...mostly. That's got to count for something right?
He may have let the Bit run a bit too far...
...
Check the tags for more context!
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Danny is a Villain#Or he pretends to be a Villain#It started out as a Persona so he didn't have to keep justifying his existence to civilians and then spiraled out of control#He got a little too committed to the Bit#Danny claims that all Ghost Attacks are on his orders as a convenient excuse for being at the scene of every attack#He befriends a few of his Rogues and actually does command them sometimes to keep up the charade#They can indulge in their Obsessions from time to time and the Kid gets to keep up his weird Villain Act that he likes to do#It's a win-win#I wonder if Danny would try to recruit Vlad?#Or would Vlad fully buy into the Villain Persona and try to join Danny's team only for Danny to REPEATEDLY reject him?#“Why won't my incredible Villain Godson accept me?! And I not enough of a Villain for him?!” He cries to himself sometimes#Danny is the Ghost King#He just decided to overthrow Pariah when he attacked to cement his Villain Persona#And completely forgot that it was supposed to be a Persona for a minute there#JLD and Red Huntress are working overtime to defeat him#He is now the Next Big Threat™️ and doesn't even realize it#Sam and Tucker are just laughing theirs asses off at the mess he got himself into#Jazz is tired#And Val is wondering why her boyfriend is so awkward whenever she mentions Phantom
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just doing my job
#this was from yesterday lol#in the end i was still able to get a lot of work done#just gotta work around the depression spirals lmao#feelin it again today
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I finally watched breaking bad (all within the past week or so while I worked, finished it and watched el camino last night) and I'm confident this isn't a new thought I'm expressing or anything but genuinely how DID an entire generation of dudes convince themselves Walter White was cool and admirable and intended to be sympathetic. I know ppl just lack media literacy sometimes but I'm still so confused
I don't think I've EVER watched a piece of media that so blatantly depicts a guy making the worst possible decisions at every turn and having his life ruined for it and not being redeemed or made sympathetic in any significant or lasting way. the kinds of justifications villains USUALLY give that make people consider them "morally grey" or "tragic" or whatever (everything I did was for my loved ones, I did what I had to to survive, once I was in this I couldn't get out, I just needed you to trust me so I could keep you safe, etc etc) is ALWAYS framed as complete self-serving bullshit when Walt says it, and one of the only shreds of personal growth he ever exhibits in the whole series is when he finally fucking admits that. every time he does something even remotely cool or drops a quotable one-liner, something terrible immediately happens that makes everything worse and makes him look like an unreasonable idiot asshole again. by the end of the series the ONLY characters they can still contrast as being morally "worse" than him are literally a bunch of bloodthirsty neonazis who kept a guy in a cage for several months. this show is practically SCREAMING at you the entire time not to admire Walt. why did every dude I knew in highschool have his face on tshirts and Facebook pfps.
I just don't get it. at least with The Dark Knight's Joker it was like, a feature-length movie and that's it. you spend a lot less time with the Joker and it has a lot less time to delve into his motivations, so there's way more room for flanderization and misinterpretation as people extrapolate the few cool/interesting/sad things they saw into a whole nuanced misunderstood guy in their heads and online. Walter White has 5 seasons' worth of 45min episodes to convince you beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is a miserable fucking loser who ruins everything he touches because of greed and selfishness. if you weren't watching it for that, what WERE you getting out of this. what DID you think this show was about. am I just missing some key piece of context from 2012 or whatever that would help me understand this
#buny text#breaking bad#also I'm vaguely aware there was a big movement of fans who blamed everything on his wife and said she was the worst#which like. obvious misogyny from the primary audience of teen boys and young men aside#she's not really worse than any of the other adult characters?? she sucks real bad in the first couple seasons but so does everyone else#half the point of having all these characters be so shitty and rigid and unwilling to grow or accommodate others is so that#they can serve as landmarks to show how rapidly walt is abandoning his morals and spiraling into self-justification as the series goes on#the people you hate in season 1 are largely people you sympathize with in season 4 and 5 because compared to walt they're saints#idk. it's just weird having grown up around the fan culture for this show for the past decade or so and then finally watching it#and just being completely baffled now that i know what they were responding to
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DC doodles for funzies
#my art#dc comics#i haven’t read a single comic yet pls don’t come after my head🙏#I just saw some fanart on pinterest and it spiraled from there#BUT if you have any recommendations on where to start#please do!!#I’ll gladly accept them!!#batman#batfam#dick grayson#nightwing#damian wayne#robin#starfire#koriand'r#littol redesign for my beautiful princess in third pic💚😍#and her boyfriend too I guess…#bruce wayne#jason todd#tim drake#stephanie brown#duke thomas#cassandra cain#don’t ask me ANYTHING about the second pic#I just thought I’d be cool#like aesthetically#sorry in advance to whoever speaks japanese
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favourite scenes from pacific rim 3 💙
#please don't look at me i spent WAY too much time on these......#also really hoping i don't accidentally give anyone false hope since tragically pacrim 3 only exists in my head#you can definitely tell which scenes were drawn first lmao#because it started as just a fun exercise before spiraling out of control#anyway. enjoy i guess. don't look too closely#maybe you'll even be able to extract my post-uprising-fic-tropes-greatest-hits plot from these#pacific rim#newton geiszler#hermann gottlieb#newmann#my art#fanart
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anne rice said "erotica", the fans said "oh hm this is horror and abuse! let's turn this into a deeply upsetting character study about how abuse can create cruel people who perpetuate cycles."
iwtv (2022) writers said "this is a literal fucking saw trap" the fans said "but what if they were in love <3"
#iwtv#amc iwtv#the vampire chronicles#devils minion#daniel molloy#armand#just finished “the spiral is unspooling” and oh god !#don't want to read the vampire armand#but it's also available through my local public library so im gonna read it and then go oh god!#marius. when i catch you marius. MARIUS WHEN I CATCH YOU MARIUS#sorry idc if you're a 2000 year old vampire who constantly feeds on the blood of akasha#im tearing you limb from limb#im ripping your throat out#im actually burning you alive#the things im doing to marius are horrifying in a deeply unsexy way.#there is nothing sexy about the war crimes i am about to inflict on this freak (derogatory)
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Danse Macabre
[Commission]
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#marcille donato#winged lion#better drawn mdzs#<- art tag I really need to change.#Turns out the secret to drawing better was having someone offer you money to draw.#I jest. I just had a blast with this prompt and I seriously appreciate the commissioner for letting me have the chance to push myself.#And for giving me permission to post! Hi! If you're seeing this: thank you again!#Let me be clear: no I don't quite know where this came from. It just happened. My chakras unblocked for a few hours.#You too can unblock my chakras with money and commission me to draw cool art B*)#We are so far off from when this is relevant so this one is really just for the manga readers. *****Spoiler notes ahead:#So...As someone who read dungeon meshi monthly for many years....I admit to not seeing Marcille becoming the dungeon lord coming#Hilarious too; re-reading and watching the show made me realize that this outcome is pretty strongly foreshadowed.#Ryoko Kui distracts you by putting the focus on Laios being the 'one to break the curse' but nope!#This was the culmination of her goals and desires.#And - for those who did not have to suffer as us monthly readers did:#YES. WE NEARLY ALL THOUGHT THAT MARCILLE HAD TO DIE.#The last 20 or so chapters were a constant spiral of: 'Oh this story isn't going to have a happy ending is it?'#She just keeps losing herself! The winged lion plays her like a puppet and she is his perfect doll! So full of conviction!
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“the eternal wanderer. even death cannot release it from its plight.”
tribeless
1 power - 1 health - 7 bones
unkillable - when a card bearing this sigil perishes, a copy of it is created in your hand.
corpse eater - if a creature that you own perishes by combat, a card bearing this sigil in your hand is automatically played in its place.
brittle - after attacking, a card bearing this sigil perishes.
hidden trait - cursebearer
this card cannot be sacrificed at the sigil stones event.
finally posting my isatscryption stuff here!!! yipee!!! here’s a writeup about the card design because frankly i put wayy too much thought into all of these cards. sorry if these are a bit hard to parse!
unkillable and corpse eater effectively make sif immortal, since every time he dies, he’ll be placed back on the board! and i thought that was fitting for. y’know. timeloop reasons. brittle is only there to emphasize the whole constantly dying thing. because is it really isat without siffrin torment
also didn’t notice this until after i designed this card, but the brittle sigil art has a star on it??? not intentional in the slightest but it is Fitting
sif is a fox here! i know that that would technically put them in the canine tribe, but i felt it’d be more fitting for them to be tribeless? and base game inscryption already kinda bends the rules when it comes to tribes (such as the bullfrog being a reptile and the rabbit being treated internally as a rodent) so i think it still works
i’m well aware that card traits don’t actually have cool names or anything but i still want to give them cool names because it’s fun. anyways! cursebearer! i gave them this trait both because these sigils are extremely overpowered, and for lore reasons. sif sees their sigils as a curse! they don’t want to force them on anyone else!! it’s their burden to bear!!!
tangentially related to that last point, but sif is a talking card in this au! because it’s fun :3. and because i think it’d be really interesting to see how he’d react to the cabin
sif’s scar is covered by the hat a bit but it’s Star Shaped. and so is the eye shine teehee
this was the first card i made and Boy Does It Show. i had the WORST time trying to get the card generators to work for this because oops! both of the card generators are inaccurate in different ways! plus theres a few mistakes in the card art that i didn’t notice until after i finished most of the others... i promise the others are a little more polished
also, since i didn’t mention it above the cut, the sigil patch is for the bone king sigil! which makes the card award 4 bones instead of 1 upon death. this is less for lore reasons and more for the synergy with his sigils. since he’s constantly dying and coming back, he can basically give you infinite bones for Zero Cost. fun!
aaand i think that’s all the notes for this card! thanks for reading this absurdly long post. here’s his alt card art without the patch for your troubles 🫡
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#inscryption#isatscryption#in stars and scrybes#<- fancy name yipee! i’m still going to primarily call it isatscryption but isas is easier to abbreviate#also! for anyone who doesn’t know me from the isat discord#this au is basically just tossing the isat characters into leshy’s cabin#it’s spiralled completely out of my control but that’s the basic premise#this au is also built on like. a weird fusion of act 1 and kaycee’s mod#hence the brittle sigil. kaycee’s mod but with story progression#ahhhhh sorry this post is so LONG but i have a lot of thoughts about this au!!!!#so uh. hope yall enjoy it!!! yipee!!!
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Mha "could've been canon" quotes/scenarios
Fake Deku: *walks into the common room and over to Katsuki*
Fake Deku: "Hey Bakugou! Want to go spa-"
Half of class 1 a: *suddenly jumps the fake deku*
Fake Deku: "Wait! What are you guys doing! Get off me!"
Ochako: "Cut the bullshit, we know you're not Deku"
Fake Deku: *detransforms into some random villain*
Villain: "But how? I haven't done anything out of the ordinary!"
Todoroki: "Midoriya never calls Bakugou, Bakugou"
Tenya: "In fact we're not entirely sure he knows how to say Bakugo's real name"
Katsuki: Besides, danger sense would have alerted Izuku before everyone jumped you and gotten out of the way. So really you're just stupid"
Jirou: "Wait, sense this guy isn't Deku-"
Momo: "Where's the real one!?"
●●●●●●●
Meanwhile at the villain's hideout:
Izuku: "So you see, you can be whatever you want to be, you don't have to be a villain"
Villain 1: *sniffling* "That's so deep man"
Villain 2: *crying* "No one's ever told us that before! Thank you!"
Villain 3: *sobbing uncontrollably* "Thank you so much! Im gonna turn my whole life around now, I promise!"
Villain 4: *sitting in a corner contemplating their life choices and having a mental crisis*
Izuku: *slightly flustered* "There's really no need to thank me! You guys should have been told all this from the beginning!"
All four villains: *thinking* 'And he's humble too!'
●●●●●●●
Back at UA:
Aizawa: "So you mean to tell me he's been missing for FIVE HOURS!?"
Katsuki: *frustrated sigh* Yeah"
Aizawa: *insert groan of dissapointed and frustration*
Aizawa's phone: *rings*
Aizawa: "What!?"
Villain 1: "Um, is this Erasurehead?"
Aizawa: "Yes, what do want? I'm in the middle of important business!"
Villain 1: "Well, you see, we have one of your students, Midoriya, and we want to know where we should drop him off at?"
Aizawa: "...."
Aizawa: "What do mean 'drop him off at'"?
Villain 1: Well, he kind of gave us a talk about how we don't need to be villains and now we all feel bad about the stuff we did and want to give him back to you"
Aizawa: *sighs tiredly while dragging his hand down his face*
Aizawa: "Meet me at the abandoned choclate factory over on 15th street"
Villain 1: "Okay! Yeah, we can do that and I just want to say how sorry we are for kidnapping him! We're fully expecting to be arrested when we get there, so don't worry about us putting up a fight"
Aizawa: *sighs tiredly and hangs up*
Katsuki who listened to the whole conversation on speaker phone: "So he did it again?"
Aizawa: "Yup."
Katsuki: "And now you have to call the police and do more paperwork than you want to?"
Aizawa: "Yup."
Katsuki: "Want me to go with you to pick him up or..."
Aizawa: "Yes, lord knows he's gonna need someone to talk to on the way back and I cannot deal with him right now."
Katsuki: "So... what do we do with this guy?"
Katsuki: *jabs finger towards the shapeshifing villain who is tied and gagged with sero's tape snd spewing muffled curses at them*
Aizawa:"Hand him over to campus security and let them take care of him"
Katsuki: *nods and drags the screaming villain out the door with him*
Aizawa: "Im getting too old for this"
●●●●●
Later at the abandoned Chocolate Factory:
Aizawa, Katsuki, and a handful of cops walk into the Factory:
Izuku: *jumping up and down while waving his hand*
Cops: *rush over to arrest the villains*
Izuku: "Sensei! Kacchan!! Over here!"
Katsuki: "We know, idiot! We aren't blind!"
Villain 1 being arrested: *whispering* That's 'Kacchan'? I thought he'd be nicer"
Villains 2-4 also being arrested: *nod in agreement*
Izuku: *bounds over to Aizawa and Katsuki*
Izuku: "Sensei! Kacchan! You're not going to believe the day I've had!"
Izuku: *begins rambling*
Aizawa looks tiredly at Katsuki: "You take care of him, I have a big enough headache as it is"
Katsuki: *nods and turns back to listen to Izuku's rant and scold him for being reckless and getting in trouble again*
■■■■■■■
#So this started out as the first two segments#And then it kind of spiraled from there#😅#mha#mha incorrect quotes#bnha#bakudeku#Kind of?#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#Izuku Midoriya is the problem child#Izuku Midoriya problems#This boy can't go anywhere witnout something happening to him#aizawa shouta#dadzawa#Tired dad Shouta#class 1a#Izuku definitely can't pronounce “Katsuki”#bakugo katsuki#midoriya izuku#bkdk#Mha “could've been canon” quotes/scenarios#Izuku has talk-no-jit-tsu#He definitely watched naruto as a kid#And now thinks that's how you're supposed to deal with most villains#He also knows that if that doesn't work you should just summon your power and beat the crap out of them
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Wow! Oh! It's a good entrance, right?
SACHA DHAWAN as THE MASTER DOCTOR WHO (2020-2022)
Secret Santa 2023 Gift for @scarychristmas 🎁🎁🎁
#usercy#ccss2023#dwedit#dwgifs#Doctor Who#Sacha Dhawan#doctorwhoedit#Dhawan!Master#my gifs#olympain#i SWEAR this started out as a lyrics gifset and then i just was like 'wait no i want to gif this moment also' and it spiraled from there#thank you for giving me the final push to watch sacha dhawan as the master he did not disappoint#he in fact shattered all expectations and also may be the most stunning man alive??#so i hope you like this general appreciation/wow he's so beautiful gifset :D
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Part One / Part Two--you are here/ Part Three
Hellfire did in fact, have cookies to sell.
More than cookies, which Dustin practically preened over when Eddie dragged himself back to their table.
The ornaments they had made were still there, but now the centerpiece was an array of baked goods. Spread out in a spiral, it started from the large cake in the center and spun out into miniature cookies held in tiny decorated bags, all while Harrington stood over them like a proud parent.
It smelled mockingly delicious.
Eddie glared at the display, resisting the urge to upend the whole thing onto the floor.
Cookies and cakes and (--was that frickin bread pudding?) whatever other treats Harrington had shown up with might look good, but Eddie didn’t trust it.
Didn’t trust Harrington, even if the bastard had never really done anything himself--but then, he never had to, had he?
That was the point of all that money, after all. So he could pay other people to do his dirty work while he kept his hands squeaky clean.
“Inch a bit to the left--there, stop!” Harrington was saying, like the bossy asshole he was.
Like he thought he could just come in and expect everyone to follow his lead.
“Perfect! Now don’t touch it.”
God, Eddie had to nip this in the butt, now. Before King Horrorton harassed his sheep all day, and cemented the club's undeserved bad name in the minds of Hawkins.
“Dustin what did I just say--”
Eddie stepped up to the front of their table, preparing himself for war.
Looked over to his friends knowing they'd likely need a nod of reassurance. A show from him that said he had this handled.
There was no cowering.
No pleading, helpless, 'What do we do Eddie!?' gazes aimed his direction.
Hellfire wasn’t even looking at him, and not because they were all avoiding Harrington's line of sight.
No, the fucking traiters were flanking the King. Like they were buddies with the bastard instead of mortal enemies.
“Hey, Ed’s, Harrington brought pies. Cakes too!” Gareth said around a mouthful of cookie when he noticed Eddie standing before him.
It came out a garbled mess, but years of experience had Eddie understanding him anyway.
Jeff was busy playing what sounded like twenty fucking questions regarding the setup, and even Grant appeared comfortable, happily letting Harrington order him around as they finished setting up.
Like this was some kind of cutesy Disney movie where they all held hands and sang songs instead of a hostile takeover situation.
Eddie’s eye twitched.
Sensing a disturbance in the force, Jeff looked up and immediately interrupted himself to point to a series of red and green cookies placed dead center, delighted.
“Check it out man, Steve made some shaped like dice!”
(And he did say ‘Steve.’
Not Harrington, or This Asshole, or The Invading Evil Forces of Darkness.
Just Steve, like Steve was someone Jeff hung out with everyday.
Jeff’s cleric was a dead elf walking.)
Eddie took note of what was in fact, dice cookies.
He hated how good they looked.
“There’s four flavors.” Steve told him, cocky little grin on his face as he observed his work. “Chocolate chip, peanut butter, snickerdoodle--and the dice ones are sugar cookies.”
He licked his lips before finally turning to look at Eddie, hair curling over his face and making him wave a hand to brush them out of his eyes.
Eddie hated how good he looked too.
‘Hate, hate, hate, absolutely loathe-’
“Great, sure, wonderful.” Eddie managed, though given the look Grant and Jeff both shot him it might have come out as more of a growl.
Dustin rolled his eyes, and Eddie couldn’t help but notice that Hellfire’s other two youngest hadn’t dared to show their faces yet.
Likely they knew Eddie was having an absolute meltdown over Steve’s presence and were waiting for his reaction to blow over.
(Their characters were dead too.)
“I have two full cakes--one chocolate, on vanilla--and a few individual slices we can sell.” Steve was continuing, as if Eddie wasn’t glaring a hole in his forehead. “Those did really well last year when I made them for the basketball team.”
Insults fought for space on Eddie’s tongue, but he managed to roll a 20 to pick the best one, opening his mouth to let it fly.
"Harr-" is as far as he got before he was rudely interrupted.
“Steve? Is that you?” A woman Eddie didn’t recognize but was clearly someone's mom came up cautiously to the table, side eyeing the Hellfire banner like a nervous horse. “That can’t be your famous tiramisu, is it?”
Steve beamed at her. “Well hi Miss Carpenter. It is!”
Eddie was bumped aside by a massive purse, the woman not even glancing in his direction as she stepped up to the table.
With a sneer, he finally slumped to the back of their little spot as Miss Carpenter looked over all Steve’s (not Hellfire’s and absolutely not Eddie’s) offerings.
Didn’t care to wipe it off right then, even if he knew he needed to if he wanted to make sales.
Jeff sent him a look.
The same one he usually aimed Eddie’s way when he thought Eddie’s antics were going to cause problems.
He ignored it, on grounds that traitors don’t get to be judgy.
“Oh,” Miss Caprtender tittered, the draw of Harrington’s baked goods clearly overcoming whatever fear she had about Hellfire. “Well I just can’t pass that up. The swim team meets aren’t the same without you!”
Eddie pretended to gag.
Waited for her to comment on Hellfire--their clothes, their music, hell even the length of Eddie’s hair--and found he was almost disappointed when there wasn't even a single question about why Hawkins precious golden child was slumming it with the weirdos.
Instead, Miss Carpenter's hand went fishing in her purse for her wallet as she loudly called out over her shoulder, to, presumably another annoying woman;
“Terry, Steve’s here! He’s been baking!”
For two terrifying seconds, there was a notable dip in the conversations around them.
Grant’s eyes went wide as several women responded to the announcement like dogs hearing food hit the floor, and within seconds their table was absolutely swarmed by the mothers of Hawkins.
Even Eddie was taken aback at the sheer number of them.
“Hold, men, hold.” Dustin cautioned as Jeff and Grant both flinched. “Come on, we need to get our gold!”
“They’re scary though.” Gareth whispered in horror as four women tried to talk at once, jostling each other so hard they shook the table menacingly.
“Ladies, ladies there’s enough here for everyone!” Steve laughed, showing off his disgustingly cute dimples as he did, getting several of the mom’s to blush at their own behavior in the process.
The sheer amount of attention of course, drew in even more people, and Dustin quickly took up directing, planting Jeff and Grant at either end of their table while he and Steve fended off the hoard from the front.
(Given the way he and Steve were equally ordering Hellfire around, Eddie finally knew where the little shit had picked that attitude up from. He was going to have to cure Dustin of it, ASAP. )
“Here you go Miss Harper.” Steve said sweetly, handing over yet another stack of baked goods.
Without turning his head, and in the tone of voice one used to warn a misbehaving dog, he added; “Gareth don’t think I can’t fucking see you, get back up here.”
Caught trying to sink under the table with another cookie in his mouth, Gareth found himself hauled back to his feet by his collar, putting a snarl on Eddie’s face immediately.
“Hey--” He started, defensive and more than ready to intercede, except Gareth wasn’t flinching or cursing or doing that thing he did with his mouth when he was desperately trying to hold in his temper.
Instead he was giving a sheepish grin and a half-assed apology while he hung in Harrington’s grasp, before doing what the guy told him to do.
(It did not help that Steve patted him on the shoulder when he released him, before handing Gareth a third fucking cookie.)
Eddie’s eye twitched a second time.
(He told it to knock it off.
It didn’t listen.)
No one acknowledged Eddie or his outburst, which meant he was just skulking behind the boys while they all worked.
Arms crossed, rings tapping a rhythm on his forearm, far too keyed up to do anything other than glare at the back of Harrington's skull.
The King seemed perfectly happy to ignore him.
Likewise, Gareth and Grant knew better than to bother him when he was in a snit.
Henderson made the occasional snappy little comment, but the brat had mostly left him alone now that they were well into the swing of selling, chortling over the increasing stack of cash Steve kept trying to get him to put into a “safe place.”
Eddie was seconds away from walking up and snatching the cash himself when Jeff decided it was on him to attempt the impossible.
Get him to help Harrington.
“More hands would be nice, Eddie!” Jeff called, looking more than a little harassed as the mom he was helping changed her order a second time, snaking out the last single slice of chocolate cake from another mom who was eyeing it. “Steve and I could really use your assistance over here!”
Eddie’s glare, which had been doing its level best to try and vaporize the King’s brain, switched targets instantly.
“I’m supervising.”
Jeff made a face like he was about to argue, but the King beat him to it.
“It must be tough,” Harrington said, tilting his head to look back towards Eddie, “to supervise people who are working so much harder than you.”
Which promptly set the mood for the next full hour.
xXx
Harrington was matching him tit for tat.
Every shitty, sneered word out of Eddie’s mouth was met with an equally mean toned barb, though given the repeated looks everyone kept shooting him, Eddie was very much considered the aggressor here.
A fact he cannot believe is coming from his own friends.
What happened to comradery? To Eddie stepping in and protecting them, from the likes of people just like Harrington?
But no, Eddie makes one fucking comment about how the cookies are probably half hair-spray and suddenly he’s the bad guy.
(Nevermind that Steve had fired right back, telling Eddie that any hair-spray taste was probably from all the drugs he did.)
Was somewhat, halfway--okay maybe amazing, Eddie might have snuck a cookie himself--food really all it took to get them all to turn on him like this?
Erase the years of Eddie being their shield?
Act like Harrington wasn’t just as bitchy and awful as he had been in high school (even if he was, admittedly, being nicer about it all right now? Almost--aloof, like he couldn’t figure out why Eddie hated him so much, but likewise wasn’t going to take even one eye roll sitting down--and no, no, Eddie wasn't derailing this by thinking about Harrington's stupid eyes, he wasn't!)
Frankly he would have flipped them all the bird and stormed off, if it weren’t for the increasingly weird little comments people were making.
‘Oh Steve, it's a shock to see you here.’
‘Are you doing someone a favor?’
‘You know Pastor Jim said something about this game…’
The last one had put Eddie’s teeth on edge, even if Dustin had brushed it off. It hadn’t been aimed at Steve directly but the women saying it had absolutely been looking at the King, as if waiting for his reaction.
Not that Harrington would take the bait this soon, though.
There were too many people buying fricken…cupcakes and shit, while Horrorton enjoyed the attention of the masses.
Eventually this tiny crowd would die down though, and that’s when Steve would change his tune. Start answering some of the questions he seemed to be dodging as more and more people got braver about coming up to the table.
This whole thing was a ticking time bomb, and Eddie would be ready when it inevitably blew.
To defend his table, his club, his friends.
Even Henderson, who absolutely didn’t deserve it just then.
“Dude perk up would you? You look like you’re going to stab somebody.” Jeff hissed at him ten minutes later, when there was finally a break in the flood.
Eddie ignored him in place of taking stock of the table. (And maybe, sneaking another cookie.)
“Hope you brought more than this, Harrington.” He said, knowing he sounded like a stuck up ass and not feeling an iota of guilt about it. “Unless you plan to run home and bake more like a good little housewife.”
“Dude.” Grant said, casting him a look like King Dick might leave and take the cookies with him.
“Oh I brought more.” Harrington dismissed, with a small flick of his fingers. “And I’ll have you know you’d never find a housewife more perfect than I am, Munson.”
Then he turned to nail Eddie with the most shit eating grin he’d ever seen the King wear.
Facing flaming a brilliant red, Eddie sputtered for a second before finally getting ahold of himself and spitting;
“How delightful. I--”
“Okay.” Jeff cut in, forever the mediator. “Gary, Dustin can you help Steve pull the extra stuff out from under the tables? While I go talk to Eddie?”
“Can I try the tiramisu?” Gareth asked, inching hopefully towards the treat while keeping an eye on Harrington’s hands, lest he get smacked again.
“Only if you’re a good boy.” Harrington told him sarcastically and goddammit why did that make Eddie blush harder!?
Jeff sighed, before grabbing his arm and hauling Eddie back, away from the table, right as a younger man in some stupid sport’s jacket asked questions about one of the dice cookies.
“Look I get it man, I do,” Jeff started, voice talking in the sort of wheelding, pleading tone it did when he really wanted something and knew Eddie was opposed. “but Steve’s been super cool. We might actually make money off this, and he’s giving us all of it. Can you just… not antagonize him for five minutes?”
Eddie stared at his best friend in abject horror.
“You couldn’t have talked to him for more than twenty minutes total. Half of which he spent bitching that you were bagging a cake wrong! At what point was Harrington "being cool!?"
The asterisks were made by his fingers, which Eddie mockingly framed his face with.
He got a flat, unimpressed stare in return.
“It was a very informative twenty minutes and he was right about the cake. Now are you going to help or are you going to glower in the corner?”
Eddie gaped.
“I cannot believe you right now--”
Jeff didn’t even wait to hear him out.
“You’ve chosen to glower. I can’t help you man, but we’d all have a much better day if you weren’t at Harrington’s throat every five seconds.” Jeff turned smoothly on his heel.
Over his shoulder he added; “Seriously, don’t come back until you’ve worked your way out of your snit.”
Shocked, Eddie watched Jeff float back to the front, inserting himself easily between Grant and Steve and immediately striking up a conversation.
With the enemy.
“I didn’t know you baked.” Jeff told Steve loudly (and very obviously, for Eddie to see.)
Steve gave a bashful little smile, then shrugged. “It’s a hobby. Got into it back when the basketball team needed to fundraise a few years ago and Tommy’s mom got it in her head we should sell home baked goods. Turns out its kinda fun.”
“Please never get out of it.” Gareth insisted, a piece of God knows what crammed in his mouth.
“Dude, how many of those have you gotten into!? Stop eating the merchandise!” Dustin commanded, smacking at Gareth’s shoulder.
“I physically cannot stop man.” Gareth dodged, reaching out for another cookie. “I’m not sorry.”
Steve just laughed. All charming and buddy-buddy, like it was natural for him to be here.
Wearing a Hellfire shirt. Making jokes and teasing the guys.
In Eddie’s fucking place.
He seethed, fingers twitching, and envisioned the very unsexy murder of one Steve Harrington.
Cartoon X’s for eyes and all.
xXx
Trouble didn't hit the table.
It in fact, seemed to stay away as if on purpose, to shove in Eddie's face that he was the one in the wrong here.
Even the questions toned done as the second wave of moms showed up, this round prompted by some former teammate of Steve’s Eddie didn’t recognize yelling about his apple pie.
Instead, Eddie’s wayward sheep finally made their appearance Mike and Lucas trying to sneak in as if Eddie wouldn’t notice during the new rush.
(Eddie himself almost caused trouble when he realized Lucas was wearing a Not-A-Hellfire shirt, which solved the mystery of where Harrington had gotten his.
He was inching his way towards them, a snarky word on his tongue when he saw Sinclair said something about how he was “already on Eddie’s shitlist for joining the basketball team,” in relation to what must have been a question about his Hellfire shirt, that caused Eddie to freeze.
With the air of a sad, wet kitten, Lucas followed it with; “I’m sure it won’t be long before he kicks me out of Hellfire anyway.”
Like he'd been punched in the gut, all the air left Eddie’s lungs.
Because before Lucas had said that, Eddie had been thinking it.
Not really--he’d never kick anyone out of Hellfire.
It was more that he'd thought about it in the way one does when you know you're in the right, and are having to resort to underhanded tactics to force the other party to come to their senses.
Like a sort of shitty, angry “I should kick you out, let you see what happens when you don’t have us!” kind of intervention.
The same kind he had heard the jocks sling before, when they were mad at each other and--God he wasn’t--he couldn’t be, like them...could he?
Like fucking Harrington, who oh fuck, was patting Lucas sympathetically on the shoulder and giving him some kind of whispered advice.
Sonovabitch.
“I’m going for a smoke.” Eddie bit out, vision tunneling.
He knew he needed to go sit down somewhere, before he fucking lost it in front of Hawkins, Harrington and everyone.
And wouldn’t that just be a treat for King Steve?
To watch Eddie realize he had turned into the very thing he hated, preached against, even?
That Steve was, maybe, possibly, doing a better job of following Eddie’s own Munson Doctrine than he was?
Eddie barely saw the room anymore--waived off whatever Grant was trying to say to him as flew past, shaking hands fishing for a desperately needed cigarette.
Maybe a hope and a prayer too, because apparently he needed it.
How long had he been like this?
Been a douchebag asshole?
Was it the whole year? More than? Or was it just now, with stupid Steve involved? Could he trace this back to that stupidly cute--no, no, annoying, asshole?
Was this some fucked up way of coping with his growing crush!?
Lost in thought and growing self hatred he nearly careened right into Robin Buckley.
Her slightly bent paper reindeer ears marked her as a memeber of the high school band, who had been absolutely butchering ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ a few minutes earlier.
Vaguely heard her yell Steve’s name as he ran off (because that’s what Eddie was doing. What he always did.
Run--from himself and his own fucking feelings, like a total cliche.)
--but didn’t take in that she was doing more than saying hi to, oh fuck him sideways--her friend.
Because she and Steve were friends now.
Good ones, if the freshmen were to be believed.
Rather than go outside and catastrophize in the cold, Eddie threw himself threw the doors at the end of the hall, then up the stairwell, to the second floor.
Tucked himself into a corner, right there by the stairs.
Sank down into a crouch, hands scrubbing up his face before tangling in his hair, head dropping between his knees, cigarette shoved into his mouth.
Somehow, Eddie decided, this was Steve’s fault.
He'd have come up with a reason for that, he was sure. A good one even, except he forgot one of the key features of his life.
He was a Munson, and as a general rule of life, nice neat things did not happen to Munson's--but they did get kicked while they were down.
“Okay, what happened?” Steve fucking Harrington asked, voice loudly echoing up the stairwell from down below, and Eddie threw his head back, nearly slamming it against the wall.
(Maybe he’d pissed off a witch. His life would make a lot more sense if someone had cursed it.)
“She gave me her number!”
That was Buckley, the shrill timber identifiable even as she whispered the words.
Eddie can’t really see them without giving himself away--could probably make his escape if he got down and army-crawled past the railing he’s huddled by, but figured this is their fault anyway.
Not his problem if he overhears a private conversation because they’re both too stupid to check to see if someone was seated literally right up above them.
“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?" Steve was saying. "That’s what we wanted!”
“Is it!? What if she’s just, you know, giving it to me?”
“...I’m not following.”
“Like in a friend way. Not a--”
“Romantic way?”
Harrington has the smarts to say the words quietly. So quietly in fact, that had Eddie not been in the exact right position he wouldn’t have heard--but he almost swallowed his unlit (he should have lit it, maybe they'd have smelled the smoke and fucked off) cigarette anyway.
“Sssshh!” Robin hissed, and Eddie can’t see either of them but he imagined her jamming her hand over Harrington’s big fat mouth.
“Not so loud, Steve!”
“Sorry, God.” Sure enough, Harrington’s voice is muffled. “How did she give it to you? Did she say anything?”
“She asked if I want to hang out after band, but because I have that stupid family thing, I told her I couldn’t today, but I can literally any other day, and she said she’d call me, and I said--”
“Robs, breathe.”
“Don’t interrupt me, Dingus!” Robin said, voice shrill again, before she clearly listened to Harrington and took a breath.
It was big, and deep, and she blasted it back out loud enough for the fucking birds on the roof to hear.
In a calmer voice, Robin continued; “I said we never traded phone numbers so I didn’t have hers. She grabbed my arm and wrote her number on it. Look, she added a heart!”
“Okay, here you go! A hearts a good sign!"
And Harrington sounded--sounds happy for her, practically ecstatic, which doesn’t make much sense given Robin is talking about a ‘her’ and-
And-and-and--
Eddie’s always been quick to connect the dots.
It’s something he inherited from his old man. A Munson trait he’s tried to make his own through being an excellent DM (and not by robbing people blind or boosting cars.)
Here, the dots clearly screamed that Robin Buckley was trying to ask a woman out.
You know, in a gay way.
Which Harrington not only knew, but was supportive of.
Steve Harrington, who famously called Jonathan Byers' a queer before smashing the guy's beloved camera into the ground.
Eddie’s head exploded.
Or was in the process of exploding--he’s not entirely sure given the tunnel vision was back and his soul felt like it had exited his body entirely.
Just knew that his world was being remade for a second time in five minutes, and that he was dealing with it pretty damn poorly.
(Maybe God would be nice for once, and just give him the aneurism he clearly deserved.)
Which was of course, when trouble finally did decide to show face, in the form of Dustin Henderson barging through the doors and into Steve and Robin's little meeting.
Eddie knew, because Eddie could hear him.
“Steve! Steve we have a problem!”
“I’m busy Dustin--”
“Be busy later, we have an emergency on our hands!”
“And what, pray tell, do you think is an emergency?”
Eddie, who had instantly latched onto the conversation by the sheer need to have something distract him from his own thoughts, wondered the very same.
“Jason Carver showed up at the table, with a priest. They’re trying to do some whole kind of crazy sermon--is that a good enough emergency for you!?”
“Oh shit. ” Steve spat, at the same time Eddie yelled it from up high.
He sprang up, all thoughts of Robin and Steve knowing he’d eavesdropped vanishing entirely from his head as he lunged for the stairs.
Flew down them, because the thing he'd been waiting all fucking day for had finally happened.
He nearly crashed into Robin once again as he blew through the barely closed doors, Steve and Dustin already far ahead of him.
“Eddie?” Robin asked, voice noticeably nervous. "Were you--"
"Not now Starbuck, but we can talk later." Eddie told her, flying right past.
After he saved Hellfire.
#Its my birthday have a thing!#sighs in why can’t I ever make things into two parts#THREE IT IS#yes ill do tags#you do have to comment though bc I will miss it if its just in the tags#this will be only three parts so help me#pre steddie#hellfire#steven harrington#eddie munson#dustin henderson#The Party#Robin Buckley#Steve is a Good Friend#Chaotic Gremlin Eddie#and Bitchy Mean Girl Steve#I will die on the “bitchy mean girl” Steve is VERY different from “rich kid asshole” Steve hill#Eddie loves it even if he hates that he loves it rn lol#Eddie does some grade A tier catastrophizing here#things are not nearly as bad as he spirals himself into thinking lol#0o0 fanfics#stranger things#hellfire club
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Danny "I know a Guy"™
Danny works for the JL as a engineer and is the guy that always seems to 'know a guy' for all types of situations.
It's starts with either the Teen Titans or the YJ needing something silly/dumb and it later spirals into "but who reads [insert dead language or alien language here] its impossible!"
Danny' working nearby and sees it: oh! That's [name of language] I know someone. If you don't mind them being a little... ghosty."
When something big bad death/powerful realted happens later though. Danny is helping repairs on the JL tower, Constantine is there talking about maybe summoning a powerful protector spirit that had defeated the Ghost King a while back, someone jokelying and tiredly asks Danny if he knows anyone who can help.
"No..." Danny gets silent for a moment, stares at them before saying as he transforms "I am the guy this time."
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc#crossover#blue rambles#writing ideas#random idea#danny phantom dc#dpxdc#danny is the guy that knows a guy#theyre all a ghosty though#starts with the teens and spirals into others#Danny is just thought to know them from his parents prefessions during his backgrounds check#so they know Danny knows ghosts#they just dont know he is Phantom as well#look Danny worked hard to get into space without needing to join the hero club#he wanted to keep it that way#he was proud dang it
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🚨LONG POST WARNING⚠️
Me? Posting a long comic? Nooooo...
My Sonic 3 Prediction🌠
My dumb of ass watching a scene that will never happen
#sonadow#movie sonic#sonic movie 3#movie shadow#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic#sonic adventure 2#my art#Yeah the weather forecast for this movie is looking pretty gay ngl#Is saving the guy you just met 24 hours ago who had framed you for crimes from falling to his doom sus??? <--- Sonics search history 😭#LOOK IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SHORT FUNNI JOKE COMIC BUT IT SPIRALED OUTTA CONTROL#The first half of this comic was drawn a long ass time ago#You can tell when my style changes argshshhh#They have encapsulated my mind#I lub dem#YOU CANNOT TELL ME HE WONT TRY TO SAVE HIS ASS HSJHSJSSHJ PLEASEEEE SEGA
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The doors to Olympus are sturdy and strong, given everyone's preferences for drama and slamming said doors open and sending them cracking into the wall whenever the opportunity arises. Which is why it's a surprise when they creak open during the once-a-decade pantheon meeting; less so because no entity worth their salt would take so long to open the doors, and more so because everyone who is anyone is already there.
But if everyone is being honest with themselves- which no one is, usually- these gatherings are boring enough that the bland conversation is dropped immediately in favour of craning their necks to catch a glimpse of whatever is coming to relieve them of their boredom.
When the doors finally open however, several of the pantheon murmur in surprise.
"Odysseus," Athena whispers, wide-eyed as she pushes herself off her throne to her feet. It is him- in the king's garb he was buried in but the face he has when he reached home, hair till the shoulders and speckled with grey, face oddly blank. His feet are transparent.
"What are you doing here, sceptre?" Poseidon booms, hair the color of a stormy sea. Zeus, beside him, looks reserved, observing the ghost with something approaching curiosity- eyes flicking to the lightning scars on his daughter's face and back. "Your time has long passed, and Hades-"
"It is a temporary agreement," Odysseus says curtly, barely sparing him a glance as he approaches his patron. "Athena."
Her armour clinks as she steps forward and the gods all twitch, trading glances. Owls are silent creatures- to have her aspect so affected to make noise was... uneasy to say the least. She even holds herself different than usual, something like confused delight shining in her eyes. "How did you-"
"Did you sleep with my wife?"
The throne room is silent. Several jaws drop.
Athena straightens back up, blinking in surprise. She looks a bit shifty, some of the nymphs closest whisper to each other, which- well, almost every single god present owed some part of their existence to the mere story of Odysseus loving his wife.
Would he fight his own patron goddess over it in front of Mount Olympus, though? He certainly was unbalanced enough; Athena herself looked rather uncertain of her odds, even though-
"Are you addled in death, King of Ithaka?" Artemis drawls, looking amused. "Did you forget that your own patron is celibate? Whatever rumor you-"
"No, I-" Athena says suddenly, shifting her spear to her other hand. "I did."
Artemis chokes on her breath and several assorted divine beings gasp in shock and the rest shouting for explanations, although everyone is nearly drowned out by Aphrodite's loud, "WHAT?"
Odysseus inhales sharply and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I cannot believe you."
"She asked-" Athena starts, only to be drowned out by the din of various beings screeching and shouting about the scandal.
"ATHENA!" Hera hisses, peacock tail fanning behind her sharply as she pushes herself up. "Explain yourself!"
Athena half-turns to face her, face creased in a frown. "Mother, I-"
"LET ME REPHRASE!" Odysseus cuts in loudly, and the shouting settles down into silence. He walks to his patron, eyes blazing. "I cannot believe," he throws his clenched fists wide as he growls the last word, "-you took Penelope to bed-" Athena surprisingly stays still as he reaches her, mouth falling open as he grabs her by the chiton to yank her down, uncaring of the gasps of horror from all around as he snarls, "-before you ever kissed me."
And then Odysseus grabs Athena by the face roughly and kisses her.
This time Aphrodite's shriek cannot be escaped by anyone.
"Aphrodite, please," Zeus says a few moments later, wincing as his throne reforms around him, stained oddly pink. Quite a few minor entities have discorporated, and the ones nearest to her are still trying to regenerate their hearing. "Control yourself."
Their eyes land back on where Athena has dropped her spear- dropped her spear, Ares in the corner seems to be having some minor hysteria over this, well warranted- and is also on the floor, still being thoroughly kissed by that insufferable, mannerless hero of hers, perched on her stomach to reach. Zeus inhales in fury, Poseidon close behind him as the shock wears off, lightning crackling around his fingers as he opens his mouth to shout- of all the indignities-
"If you two ruin this for me," Aphrodite thunders, warping in front of them and glaring. "I will make you both regret it."
Both gods visibly blanch at the threat, taken aback for one brief moment. Threats from Aphrodite are far worse than any of her more violent siblings, at the end of the day.
Zeus visibly gathers himself just as Athena's helmet clatters to the floor, and he gains a second wind immediately, eye twitching as he spreads a hand to the spectacle in the middle of the hall. "WHAT MANNER OF DISRESPECT IS THIS? TO BARGE INTO OUR MEETING AND THROW ONE OF THE OLDEST GODDESSES TO THE FLOOR LIKE A COMMON WENCH-"
"Zeus," Hera says quietly. Everyone falls silent, although it's not quite enough to stop the two tangled together on the ground. She clears her throat, which finally seems to get through to Athena, who had finally seemed to have gotten over her shock enough to reach out, hands hovering over Odysseus hesitantly. Still, at the noise she seems to remember herself, pushing herself up on an elbow and dislodging him enough to break their necking. He pouts at her, but Athena's eyes are too glazed over to notice, heaving for breath.
Hera opens her mouth to speak, crown manifesting on her brow as she steps in front of the throne, but closes it as the door rattles again.
This time, the spectre shimmers with a faint hint of scales that comes with a freshwater nymph's heritage and excited whispers starved for drama explode across the room as the Queen of Ithaka steps into the room, skirts hitched in her hand and panting as if she'd been running.
"Your Graces," She bows respectfully before entering, Spartan princess through and through, until she catches sight of her husband and Athena, the former of whom seems to have taken the opportunity to start kissing the wisdom goddess again, fingers in her curls.
"What are you doing?" She snaps, rushing over. The entire courtroom holds its breath. She slaps her husband upside the head, making him yelp and move back to shoot her a betrayed look. Athena looks even further dazed than before, cheeks red. "Argos has more manners than you! No wonder Lady Athena wanted nothing to do with you- ah, hello, darling, by the way."
"Penelope," Athena murmurs hoarsely, and the Queen of Ithaka leans down to kiss her as well.
Odysseus chuckles, then jumps with everyone else as Hera slams a hand down on the throne elegantly, cracking it to the base.
"Ah, goddess-" He says, clambering off Athena to bow.
"Silence," Hera interrupts, holding up a hand, eyes cold. "You will not say anything to me apart from an explanation. My agreement for your release from Ogygia was due to the assurance that your marriage was one of the truest I have ever witnessed, conveyed by Athena herself when bartered with all of us to let you go. Tell me, was it a ploy? Because from the disgraceful looks of it, this seems to not be the case in the slightest."
Odysseus frowns, face twisting in confusion. "Athena bartered with...?" He turns to look at his patron, who stares back, unspeaking. His eyes flicker to the lightning scar over her right eye as Penelope traces it with horrified eyes and a gentle thumb, and understanding seems to dawn.
For a moment, rage seems to fill him, glaring with a hatred towards Zeus that everyone whispered later wasn't met by the god king with anger, but a flicker of remorse- before he visibly throws it away behind Athena's old smile and bows.
"God-queen," He says formally, gracefully. Hera twitches a bit, and they'll all talk later about how odd it was to so clearly see Athena's younger mannerisms in the man, down to the curl of the letters. "My marriage to Penelope has never been false, never been broken, this I promise you." He takes Penelope's hand and squeezes it for emphasis, and she raises them as acknowledgement. "But... can you not argue that Athena has been part of our marriage all this time? From its start, where she advised me on courting and her on what to look for, to the twenty years she spent with both of us- me on the battlefield and Penelope in the court; to say nothing of how she helped raise our son and lived in our palace in the days after. And is she not so unbearably beautiful that even my Penelope couldn't wait-" He shoots a glare at her, which Penelope returns with a smile. "-when the chance was presented? How can you fault us for disgrace, after being so long apart from our wife?"
Hera raises both eyebrows at the impudence, the kind of disbelieving expression that hides a warning to tread carefully. "So you claim to be both married to Pallas Athena?"
"In every way that matters except legality," Odysseus says, fearlessly. He is dead, after all, what much can you do to a shade that they didn't already put him through when alive. He is sort of worried about Athena, though, as they both help her back to her feet, Penelope busy whispering compliments and updates and endearments in turn- she's not usually one to be quiet in face of a problem.
Hera tilts her head. "Ah, but you see. I need the legality, if I am to finally-" A helpless, excited smile pulls at her lips once, twice, before unfolding into a bright grin, peacock tails unfolding to their full wingspan. "-finally arrange for a marriage for my eldest daughter who has not once- oh finally, I can hardly believe this day has come-"
"I do not like the way you grabbed her, Sacker of Troy," Ares steps forward as Hera starts ranting half to herself, half to an equally loud assemblage of joyful entities about wedding arrangements, eyes narrowed.
Odysseus barks an incredulous, loud laugh, gesturing to Athena with a slightly crazed look in his eyes. "This lady has broken- and I do not exaggerate- every single bone in my body before I saw my sixteenth year. I have punched her a hundred times in the face when she taught me how to fight. We'll survive, thanks."
"That is fair," Ares steps back, hands raised.
"What duties will you provide as spouses, Ithakan Queen?" Hestia questions, stepping forward.
"Oh, the same we did when we were living," Penelope huffs a laugh. "Keep her busy, make her laugh, be of mild frustration to her, love her well, worship her-"
"I do not. Need to know," Hestia closes her eyes and raises a hand to cut her off, stepping back. Around them, the din catches speed and volume as no further objections arise, excitement spilling into the air.
"What is happening?" Athena says faintly, looking around as if she was just waking up.
"-oh, and we can get out the decor once more! Hebe, Aphrodite, loves, do you remember where we kept the fountains-"
"-finally, a reason to celebrate! Call them all out of hiding-"
"-can't believe this is finally happening, oh sister, what songs should we-
"Why am I getting married," Athena says with much more alarm and horror. She turns to Odysseus and shakes him by the shoulder, eyes wild. "What did you do?"
"Nothing!"
"How is this nothing? Do you have any idea the headache-"
"Athena, sweetheart, will you consider changing into that beautiful piece you made for the ceremony?"
Creakily, she turns her head to Hera, disbelief pasted across her face. "Mother," She says slowly. "They are both dead."
"Oh, I'll make a deal with Hades or something, you hush!" Aphrodite leans forward and snaps, before her irritation melts back into a manic joy. "Oh, what paint shall we do?"
Paint, Athena mouths, looking afraid for possibly the first time since her conception.
Penelope laughs and tugs on Athena's hand to make her turn, tucking dishevelled curls behind her ear. She wonders if the goddess knows how beautiful she is when she's flustered. "Take us away," She whispers. On Athena's other side, Odysseus leans against their patron with a besotted, helpless smile as he stares up at her, her helmet and spear in hand. She'd missed Athena like a limb, missed her deep laugh at night when they'd discussed the day's court, the dry jokes, the hands over hers as she weaved- but Odysseus wasn't himself without her, happy though they were in Hades' lands together, all of them.
"I'm-" Athena wavers, then looks around once more at all the excited screaming, something unreadable flashing in her eyes. Almost against her will, her eyes fall to Zeus, who is sitting silently and staring back at her. Poseidon looks like he still wants to start a fight, but clearly by his wary looks below can tell he will be heavily outnumbered by the overexcited crowd to not try, but Zeus just stares back at her, face blank of any emotion.
"We ask you formally this time," King Odysseus says, walking in front of her to take her attention away, holding onto her hand. His voice has strength in it, drawing the eyes of the murmuring crowd, but he's deaf to it as he stares up at her.
"Will you be our wife?" Queen Penelope asks, joining him, watching their beautiful patron shudder for breath she does not need as her eyes flick to one of them and then the other.
"Yes," She whispers and cheers erupt all across Mount Olympus.
"Finally!" Odysseus complains, and then pulls her down once more to kiss her, all three of them fading at the edges as one of the generous gods present there- who seems to realize that they're not very inclined to stop anytime soon- thankfully teleports them away into a nice room with a large bed.
"Finally," He whispers as he breaks apart to lay her down, cupping her face, voice heavy with the longing of a full lifetime and more. Penelope circles to the head of the bed and starts undoing Athena's braid, staring at them both lovingly.
Later the ones closest will murmur, as the silhouettes faded away, that tears had slipped from proud Pallas Athena's eyes as she placed one hand against Odysseus' cheek, trembling.
"I missed you," She will whisper back, and all three of them fade away to their own story, yet to be made.
#sorry athena ur not immune to the “when will u get married” mom speech#anyways i believe in demisexual athena amen#epic the musical#odysseus#penelope#athena#odypen#you know the eyes w spirals in anime thats athena after being kissed by her bff within an inch of her life on a regular tuesday#hera#woman is on CLOUD NINE she will literally kill anyone who gets in her way this time. the wedding is gonna be great.#aphrodite#< also going crazy shes been trying to matchmake her sister for a thousand years now#ares#< extremely conflicted. has never felt protectiveness for athena before this moment . also he wants eye bleach.#hestia#“HOW WILL THEY MAKE A HOME IN THE UNDERWORLD WHAT HEARTH-”#zeus#athena hasn't spoken to him since god games.#also tbc pen Didnt know ody and athena were Not Like That. she was convinced day one that they were a package deal.#and the two of them had literally Never considered it even though it was the norm! but once he finds out that Penelope did ody casually#just like. figures out a way to get to mount olympus from hades and storm in to plant one on her#athena x odysseus x penelope#< ig?? whats the ship name#to anyone who sees this vision. join me.#odyath#penath#odypenath#my fic
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Prompt:
When Jason wakes up in the Pit and finds out about what happened while he was essentially brain dead it’s not Bruce his ire falls upon, but Dick.
Dick, who never accepted him and had to be coerced into spending any amount of time with him but is now regularly seen patrolling with the Replacement. Dick, who had an open ear for everyone but Jason. Dick, who never put in any kind of effort with Jason but has an entire Wikipedia article dedicated to his wholesome bond with the Drake heir.
Dick, who couldn’t even be bothered to attend his funeral but never missed a single of the Replacement’s photography exhibitions.
So when Jason first dons the helmet and begins his stakeout to start planning his big debut he doesn’t only do it in Gotham, he branches out to Blüdhaven.
But when he first get to Blüd it’s to the tail end of Blockbuster having been murdered.
And when he finds Nightwing it’s to the sight of a woman stalking towards where the vigilante is sprawled on a deserted rooftop, unresponsive.
#Jason hates Dick#but there’s one thing he hates even more#he’s not gonna watch THAT happen to Nightwing#or anybody#tarantula gets killed in a very grisly manner#courtesy of a furious crime lord#dick always thought he’d have enough time with Jason#that he’d make time to work out their relationship eventually#and then Jason died#and while Bruce was busy trying to follow Jason#dick spiraled in his own right#dick totally knows that someone is currently killing tarantula#but he’s in full blown dissociation#and Jason doesn’t know what to do with Nightwing now that he’s saved him from… THAT#but he sure as hell is not gonna disclose his identity#Nightwing is pretty sure he just got kidnapped by a crime lord but caring about anything is hard atm#jason todd#batfamily#batfam#dick grayson#robin#Nightwing#red hood#bruce wayne#prompts#dick and jason#angst#Tim drake#enemy to caretaker#prompt
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